Yesterday was Valentines day. I hope you enjoyed your day!

I was talking to a few friends some had a Valentine and others did not. The ones that celebrated the day of love with someone seemed to be caught up in the flowers, candy, dinner, movies, shopping or whatever activity the day brought. A few have really good men and the others just have what the have. My single friends seemed to battle the days suggestion that you needed to be attached to be happy. Well, I have something to say to both groups (don't I always have something to say? Ha!).

To the first group I would like to ask them to evaluate their Valentine. Is the man you are involved with honest, peaceful, loving and one with integrity? Does he treat you and others with respect? Is he FAITHFUL (not including the times he is on good behavior because he has been caught and in make up mode)? Is he responsible and does he edify you in more places other than the bedroom? Does he encourage outside interest and give you breathing room to pursue you and time to build needed relationships with others or is he always suggesting HE is all YOU need?  Is he always working when he says he is working or is there a gut wrenching nagging sensation in your belly when you call and he does not answer? Is he authentic or is he renting everything and had to take money from the rent stash to celebrate the day? Is the union built on a solid foundation or was he someone else's valentine when y'all hooked up and now you have gone from the bench to the field? Let me caution you, if your relationship is built on the back of someone else's heartache and pain (CHEATING IS DECEPTION) it WILL NOT LAST. You may ride it our for a few months or a few years but know time is ticking and it will sink.....eventually. There are just some laws of the universe one can not escape. Reaping what you sow just like you sowed it is one of them. If he left someone for you, he will leave you for someone. PERIOD!

A florist told me that he had five different deliveries to five different women from the same man. They probably have absolutely no clue that they are one of five or maybe they do but who wants to be with a man that has been here, there and everywhere? Yuk!
Maybe your man is reformed so he says from his cheating behavior. Well, in the words of one of my favorite personalities, Dr. Phil, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior so you can be  the fool if you want to. What caliber of Valentine do you actually have? Is it one worth celebrating?

To my single sisters I say CELEBRATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You do not have to be attached to be happy and attachment as you can see from the questions I posed above is not always a good thing. A lot of times it is a death trap! The wrong hook up can kill you. Literally!!
I hope you celebrated loving you and the great woman you are. If you have children, I hope you exchanged cards and ate candy and rolled around in the floor and laughed. A girlfriend of mine said she treated herself to a mani-pedi, facial a great lunch and enjoyed her peace and quite. She had actually received a few requests to go out and but determined that she did not want to be bothered. She was not going to settle and go out with someone below average when she could spend the day with an extraordinary person....herself. Kudos, girl!! Kudos!

To the ladies that have a Barak man (Accomplished, sincere, loving, faithful (mentally and emotionally), monogamous,charming, seasoned, poetic, peaceful, responsible, god fearing, accountable, gentle, kind and nurturing) I really hope you celebrated in grand fashion because this is and only this is something to celebrate!!