When I was a teenager, I made a interesting request to God. I asked him for an extraordinary life and not to ever allow me to become complacent and accepting of a common existence. I spent my early twenties building my property management career and my latter twenties and early thirties advancing it. By the time I was 33, I had been recruited to two cities and was out earning most of my peers. I spent several years traveling and enjoying my life. I got married at 29, had my first child at 30 and life was good so it seemed.

I was doing what I wanted to do as opposed to what I was created to do. What I was created to do was starting to taunt me and I tried to ignore the small still voice that constantly declared "remember you said not to let you rest with the ordinary? You petitioned me to keep you up at night if you were not doing what I created you to do and this is why I won't let you sleep." So I have been tossing and turning for years. Battling God knowing that I will lose but exhausted myself in battle nevertheless. So finally, I have let go and will go where ever he leads. Now I am facing a new dilemma. I feel like Moses did when God chose him to lead the people and speak to them and he had a speech impediment, I feel like Jeremiah when he was asking the Lord why he was giving him such enormous responsibility. The patriarch I identify most with is David. When the prophet went to David's father's house looking to anoint the next king of Israel, David was not even called in from the field for consideration. Yet when the prophet evaluated the men that his father had lined up before the prophet, the prophet inquired if there was another son somewhere because those that were before him although they LOOKED like they fit the bill, were rejected by God and they were not God's choice. I can identify with King David's weaknesses. Although I am a woman, struggles are struggles, sins are sins. God does not seem to care about any of it. That in of itself is peculiar to me. Surely, there were more befitting vessels than David. Surely there was someone who would have taken Goliath out with more than a rock and a sling shot. And my Lord, David was a ladies man. He had so many wifes and women and still had to have Bathsheba. Murdered her husband so he could have her. Yet, he was God's beloved King, the apple of his eye. Lord have mercy.

Something about being God's choice and being favored by him without provocation.  Favor I heard defined as being unfair advantage. This morning I thought about how good God is as has been to me and wonder why. I thought about how amazing and how forgiving he is when I act a fool and wallow in my humanity. I thought about the message of my book and how exposed I am because of it. I thought about how I rose this morning with joy and peace in my heart despite circumstances or opposition. I marvel at the faith that he has measured to me that allows me to believe him for anything with the heart of expectancy. I really do believe he can and will do anything for me. Craziness some say, whatever! He has proven himself to be faithful when I did not deserve it and he proves himself to be forgiving and loving and gracious. Why would anyone serve anyone or anything else? The true gift of salvation is remarkable. I wish I could convey the overwhelming appreciation and humility I suffer as a result. I wish I could make the critics understand the amazing and awesomeness of God's goodness. It has nothing to do with me. I know I do not deserve him or it but I have been adopted into his family nevertheless and he is my Father. The God of Creation is my Father and I can ask him for anything, his home is my home and his arms are always open. I can call out to him and he answers me. The Creator of Creation answers me. The mere thought of that brings tears to my eyes and causes me to uplift my hands. He is simply amazing and I got to go now. A sincere thank you Lord is crying out from the bottom of my soul. I am speechless..........................................................