Children are rewards.
Psalm 127:3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
I use to hear preachers say all the time that children were blessings from God. Before I became a mother, I must say I struggled with that concept. From my view, children were often times unplanned responsibilities or burdens. Primarily, because I saw so many women struggling and parenting alone. My parents divorced when I was two and although my father was very present in my life he was not a support at all to my mother. She often struggled to make ends meet while he lived very comfortably. He gave me every thing I wanted as a child but refused to pay her the support that was ordered. In the 70's and 80's the enforcement of a child support order was not as intense as it is now. He would take me to LA and Disney and Mexico on summer vacation and spend thousands of dollars but would not give my mother $300 a month. Shameful.
I have five older sisters and at my last count, 17 nieces and nephews and 7 great nieces and nephews. I was an aunt by the age of two. I do not ever remember feeling from my sisters that these children were blessings. I do not recall that memory as a child from my own mother that I was a blessing. Sure she loved me and took care of me, but I do not ever recall her uttering the words or the sentiment that I or any of my other siblings were a reward.
Now that I am a mother of two beautiful children, I understand a little more the conflict. When you are parenting without the support of a child's father it makes the road tougher (and just because a man is in the house does not mean he is any help. I know a whole lot of married single mothers but that is a different blog). There are days because of the demands of children there just isn't enough of you to go around and if you happen to have just a sperm donor as the other half, that makes it even more challenging. I met a woman today that was furious because her sperm donor was dodging child support. Every thirty days the bum disappears and she is barely making it. She looked at me and said "a woman like you could not possibly understand". 'Girl, please". Was my response. I understand more than she will ever know. I put her in remembrance of a few things. One, I told her that because she is a woman she is a survivor and because she is a black woman she is a miracle worker. She (we) have the strength of queens running through her veins. I reminded her of the plight of the women before us, the washing clothes on scrub boards, making meals from the scraps of the pig that Mr. Man did not want, the coming in from the field working all day with a baby on the back and a basket on the head, girl you do not need his sorry ass, let him run. You can do this all by yourself if you have too. Trust me where he dropped the ball there is a man that God has that will gladly pick up up, lead the team and score. Until that time comes, do not sweat it. You have had everything you need and you will continue to have everything you need. If you have to beg a man to take care of his kids, he is not worth the air he breaths and he surely is not worth your energy. He is not hurting you and truth be told he is not really hurting the child but he is hurting himself. A man that does not take of his kids is an infidel and will not prosper. Period.
When I got back to my little princess today, she hugged me like she had not seen me in days and we were only apart for three hours. I missed her more than she probably missed me. She looked at me with those big ole eyes and said Ma Ma. Oh, did my heart melt as she took my breath away. I felt it when it happened. Hannah literally took my breath away and I said to her "Oh, little Mama you are such a blessing to me". So much Joy and in that moment, I understood the above scripture. My children are my reward. They are God's gentle reminder of unconditional love and loyalty. Her little arms around my neck felt with her head buried in my chest felt as if I was being hugged by LOVE itself. It was our moment and the reward in my arms brought more light to my life. My children are not just my children, or responsibilities but my rewards from God. They are truly amazing gifts and I cherish every moment I share with them. We stood in the middle of the room and hugged and I kissed her little face and it lit up like the sky did on the night she was conceived. The adults in the room were wondering if we always carried on like that. Yep, we sure do and I started to pick Evan up from school because I was missing him and he needed to complete the Mommy moment but I decided not to interrupt his education for mushy. I will be sure to show him his love when I pick him up from school and let him know that he too like his sister is one big red REWARD bow in my life. Forever and always.
I use to hear preachers say all the time that children were blessings from God. Before I became a mother, I must say I struggled with that concept. From my view, children were often times unplanned responsibilities or burdens. Primarily, because I saw so many women struggling and parenting alone. My parents divorced when I was two and although my father was very present in my life he was not a support at all to my mother. She often struggled to make ends meet while he lived very comfortably. He gave me every thing I wanted as a child but refused to pay her the support that was ordered. In the 70's and 80's the enforcement of a child support order was not as intense as it is now. He would take me to LA and Disney and Mexico on summer vacation and spend thousands of dollars but would not give my mother $300 a month. Shameful.
I have five older sisters and at my last count, 17 nieces and nephews and 7 great nieces and nephews. I was an aunt by the age of two. I do not ever remember feeling from my sisters that these children were blessings. I do not recall that memory as a child from my own mother that I was a blessing. Sure she loved me and took care of me, but I do not ever recall her uttering the words or the sentiment that I or any of my other siblings were a reward.
Now that I am a mother of two beautiful children, I understand a little more the conflict. When you are parenting without the support of a child's father it makes the road tougher (and just because a man is in the house does not mean he is any help. I know a whole lot of married single mothers but that is a different blog). There are days because of the demands of children there just isn't enough of you to go around and if you happen to have just a sperm donor as the other half, that makes it even more challenging. I met a woman today that was furious because her sperm donor was dodging child support. Every thirty days the bum disappears and she is barely making it. She looked at me and said "a woman like you could not possibly understand". 'Girl, please". Was my response. I understand more than she will ever know. I put her in remembrance of a few things. One, I told her that because she is a woman she is a survivor and because she is a black woman she is a miracle worker. She (we) have the strength of queens running through her veins. I reminded her of the plight of the women before us, the washing clothes on scrub boards, making meals from the scraps of the pig that Mr. Man did not want, the coming in from the field working all day with a baby on the back and a basket on the head, girl you do not need his sorry ass, let him run. You can do this all by yourself if you have too. Trust me where he dropped the ball there is a man that God has that will gladly pick up up, lead the team and score. Until that time comes, do not sweat it. You have had everything you need and you will continue to have everything you need. If you have to beg a man to take care of his kids, he is not worth the air he breaths and he surely is not worth your energy. He is not hurting you and truth be told he is not really hurting the child but he is hurting himself. A man that does not take of his kids is an infidel and will not prosper. Period.
When I got back to my little princess today, she hugged me like she had not seen me in days and we were only apart for three hours. I missed her more than she probably missed me. She looked at me with those big ole eyes and said Ma Ma. Oh, did my heart melt as she took my breath away. I felt it when it happened. Hannah literally took my breath away and I said to her "Oh, little Mama you are such a blessing to me". So much Joy and in that moment, I understood the above scripture. My children are my reward. They are God's gentle reminder of unconditional love and loyalty. Her little arms around my neck felt with her head buried in my chest felt as if I was being hugged by LOVE itself. It was our moment and the reward in my arms brought more light to my life. My children are not just my children, or responsibilities but my rewards from God. They are truly amazing gifts and I cherish every moment I share with them. We stood in the middle of the room and hugged and I kissed her little face and it lit up like the sky did on the night she was conceived. The adults in the room were wondering if we always carried on like that. Yep, we sure do and I started to pick Evan up from school because I was missing him and he needed to complete the Mommy moment but I decided not to interrupt his education for mushy. I will be sure to show him his love when I pick him up from school and let him know that he too like his sister is one big red REWARD bow in my life. Forever and always.
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